Loving Kindness: Have you lost that lovin’ feeling for you?

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February is the month we look to celebrate our love for another person. Often we focus so much on how we show love to someone else, it makes me wonder howKim McLaughlin counselor Roseville loving we are towards ourselves. One of the most popular blogs on my website is one where I ask the reader to consider whether they are too helpful towards others. I think people click on that blog article because they think they are giving too much and they do not have time or energy to take care of themselves.

Today, in the spirit of Valentine’s Day, focus on showing loving kindness to yourself. Put some of the love you intend to give to another back to yourself. How long has it been a long time since you have done something for yourself? If you cannot remember the last time you took care of yourself, take a moment to contemplate it now. Consider this an invitation to nurture yourself. It really is a necessity to take care of you first and foremost.

My motto is, “I am no good for others if I am not good to myself.” Consider this motto a requirement, if not a necessity.

To start, you can ask yourself, “What would I do today if I was really acting in a loving manner towards myself?” What can you do, starting today, to take care of you? If you have no ideas- let me give you some:

  1. Get physical. Go for a hike, a walk at lunch time, bike ride, or go to a yoga class. Being active gets the endorphins going and just makes you feel good.
  2. Play hooky from your normal activity. I love to take the afternoon off to go to the movies. It is so nurturing to break away from our routine.
  3. Spend time alone: Go to a local coffee shop, listen to a podcast, read a book or a special magazine.
  4. Get creative: Go visit a local art gallery or museum to get inspired filled up with beauty.
  5. Be restful: Take a nap, sleep in a little later.

Imagine how it would feel to start caring for yourself now. If you feel overwhelmed even thinking about taking care of yourself, take it slow. If you have no idea what you can do to take care of yourself, I have a simple trick. Think back on a time in the past, when you were younger and you did take care of yourself.  What did you do then? Get that image in your head consider how good it felt. If the memory of it makes you feel good- Do That!

In honor of Valentine’s Day spend some time treating yourself with loving kindness. It will instill feelings of joy and happiness in you that you might have been missing for a while.

What is your answer to the question “What would I do today if I was really acting in a loving manner towards myself?”  I would love to hear your answer below in the comments.

 

Kim McLaughlin, MA is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping people with eating issues and eating disorders.  She is a counselor in Roseville and the greater Sacramento CA area. If you are concerned that about overeating, weight or your use of food in general please contact her here.

Be sure to sign up for her FREE Top Tips to End Emotional Eating here. Check out her website at www.FeedYourSoulTherapy.com.

End Emotional Eating- Kim McLaughlin

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Do you find you are an emotional eater?

There is hope and there is help. Check out this video to help you decide if counseling might help you.

 

Kim McLaughlin, MA is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping people with eating issues and eating disorders.  She provides counseling services in the Roseville and greater Sacramento CA area. If you are concerned that about overeating, weight or your use of food in general please contact her here.

Sign up for her FREE Top Tips to End Emotional Eating here. Check out her website at www.FeedYourSoulTherapy.com.

 

What is your biggest question about emotional eating? Post it in the comment section below.

Mindfulness: I Am Slowing Down

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I have a confession to make. I tend to eat fast, no matter how hungry I am. I have not really focused on changing this behavior, because I have learned to adapt to it by putting less on my plate (so I do not end up overeating). I know the importance of eating slowing: so our mind can catch up with our body sensation of fullness (satiety). I have heard from many nutritionists it takes 20 minutes for our brain to register we are full.

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Carpe Diem

I did not notice I ate fast, until my family pointed out that I often finish eating earlier than they do. Along with putting less on my plate, to ensure I do not overeat, I have learned to not put any more on my plate until the 20 minutes has passed. I can then make the decision to eat more due to my physical hunger. I would like to eat slower, since I do know that I can then feel my fullness and not overeat. This is a process, a journey for me, just like it can be for you too.

I know (in my head) all of the benefits of eating more slowly:

  1. You can tend to eat less.
  2. You know when you are full more easily.
  3. You have time to consider what you are eating and how it is making your body feel.
  4. You can then have more interesting conversations with people at your table.

So, I am on a mission, for myself, to slow down my eating. I thought you might have a similar desire.

This is my plan to help me accomplish my goal.

  • I will still put less than what I think I want to eat plate (as I have always done), knowing that I can still have more, if I am still hungry.
  • I will continue to not eat in the car or in front of the tv. I gave that up a long time ago, since that the places where lots of mindless eating can happen.
  • I will take a bite put my fork down, chew and then pick up my fork again. This can help me to slow down.
  • I will take sips of water during my meal to slow me down.
  • I will start my meals affirming I eat at a slow pace.

Eating slower is part of mindfulness during eating. Mindfulness is one of the six components to an Emotional Eating Solution. The other components: food, emotions, thoughts, lifestyle, body image/self-worth create the six components you need to have in alignment to have peace with food. I find it interesting that food is only one of the six components and the other five are the areas that can lead us to overeat.

I want you to see that this is a journey to be more accountable with food behavior, mine included. I will check back in with you to tell you how it is going. I find stating what I am doing to others helps me to hold myself accountable and reminds me to be more mindful.

Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Counselor and Motivational Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor.  

Kim is the author of the Amazon #1 Best Selling Book Discover Your Inspiration. Check it out here.

Kim McLaughlin has been identified as writing one of the Top 50 Blogs about Emotional Eating by the Institute on Emotional Eating. Sign up for her free Special Report: Top Strategies to End Binge Eating here or visit her website at www.FeedYourSoulUnlimited.com.

Ending Emotional Eating: Leftover Halloween candy

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Ending Emotional Eating: Leftover Halloween candy

I just saw a video from Jimmy Kimmel of an annual prank where he encourages parents to video themselves telling their kids that they ate all of the kids Halloween candy. I must admit it was funny to see the kids have such expressive (sad, mad) reactions. It also made me think of the torment some of us experience after the kids go Trick or Treating and now we are faced with lots of candy in the house or left over candy bought to give out to the kids. This situation can be really difficult for anyone with emotional eating issues. Just having the candy in the house can lead to overeating, obsessive thoughts (“do I eat it or don’t I”) and wondering how we can hide that we ate the candy.

Emotional eating means we eat to help ourselves deal with emotions, and some emotions can revolve around the fear of having candy in the house. We can become sneaky and shame ridden when we do eat someone else’s Halloween candy or eat more than we think we should. When I was a child, I remember taking some of my brothers Halloween candy. He would ask who took it and I did not tell the truth. He then started to count the candy and then I could not keep taking it without being caught. I felt ashamed that I engaged in that kind of behavior and did not tell the truth about it.

I consider Halloween as the start of the holiday season, which can be very challenging for emotional eaters. Sugar can often be the go to choice when emotions arise. Now we are done with Halloween, but not with the candy. There is a full bowl of it in my house and it is now not a concern for me. If you struggle with this like I have (read more on my Halloween story here), let me give you some tips to get through it.

  1. I like to tell myself, “It is not mine to take or eat.” That thought keeps me out of my child’s candy. Think up a statement that you will tell yourself which can help redirect you or use mine.
  2. Do you really need that much candy in the house? Local dentists collect (and sometimes pay for) candy which they send to the troops. Engage your child (if it is their candy) in the idea we have plenty and we can share or make it a rule that we only keep a certain amount and the rest we give away. It is nice to give others a sweet treat.
  3. Ask yourself why you really want the candy. Sounds simple, but some moments of questioning ourselves, our feelings, and our desire to have the candy can help use become more mindful of our decisions.

These tips can be very effective in the short term process of managing the thoughts and behaviors around sweets. Since this is the start of the holiday season, really consider a plan of action for yourself for the next 2 months. Developing an understanding of your emotional eating and a plan of action is a great way to start the holidays. It is possible to have an enjoyable holiday without the struggle over food.

Have some tips about how you handle leftover Halloween candy? Let us know in the comments below.

Kim McLaughlin, MA is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping people with eating issues and eating disorders.  If you are concerned that about overeating, weight or your use of food in general please contact her here. Sign up for her FREE Top Tips to End Emotional Eating here. Check out her website at www.FeedYourSoulTherapy.com.