The Fear of Halloween Candy is Real

The Fear of Halloween Candy is Real

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I have many memories of struggling with food over the holidays.

When I was single, I feared having food (specifically candy) in the house. At Halloween time I would buy a bag of candy my thought was to use it on Halloween, but that never happened. I always ate it. It wasn’t that I just ate it. I ate it all and felt so ashamed. I was convinced that I could not stop.

I came up with a plan…

I would go to the gym on Halloween night. I don’t know if you have been to the gym on Halloween night- there are not many people there. I thought it was the only way that I could stop myself from overeating on candy. If I was not home to give out candy, they I would not have to buy the candy. It was my way of not binging on candy. It worked if I did not buy the candy.

When I returned home from the gym, I would sneak into the house, go upstairs, and watch television with the lights out so no one would knock on my door. I did not feel brave enough to tell them I had no candy, I wanted to avoid the whole scene.

I then married a man who loved to give out candy on Halloween. He bought the candy and did not open the bag before Halloween. On Halloween he ate few pieces and took the rest to the office to share with his co-workers.

I have learned that it is ok to have candy in the house and I do not have to be afraid of it. It does not call my name like it used to. I used to feel compelled to eat the candy or any sweets if it was in the house. My head would say, you know you are going to eat it, just do it. I was convinced that I had no control over candy.

I learned about Intuitive Eating.

It took me time and effort to feel freedom with candy. It is doable. We now have candy in the house, and it does not call to me. I do not think about it, and I have it when I want it. It is not a struggle anymore.

I have been creating my newest program Peace with Food Over the Holidays and have been looking at what does help to release the grip food and sweets can have on us. Interestingly, it is not all focused on how to manage food. Food is one of the many components that lead to peace with food.

In order to have Peace with Food Over the Holidays we need to look at:

  1. Physical: How to look at food/candy differently. There are simple tweaks that can make you feel so much more successful.
  2. Emotional- How to deal with emotions that surely come up over the holiday season.
  3. Mental: Those thoughts about food can be overwhelming. Finding some tools to manage them is critical.
  4. Lifestyle/Social: Learning how to say no and set boundaries is crucial.
  5. Mindfulness: How can you get quiet with yourself when there are so many competing priorities AND you are not one of them?
  6. Self-Love: What do you really need? If you were going to be loving to yourself, what would you do?

Notice that only one component is focused on the physical, which includes food! The reason why it feels so hard to put food in its place as nourishment is because we focus on food and generally it is on restricting food.

Food restriction does not work.  

What works is bringing balance and synergy to all of the components. I will not lie to you; it does take effort to learn and practice this new way. It is worth it, and it does work.

As an end note…

I now happily give out candy to our neighbor kids. I do not feel afraid when my daughter brings home her Halloween candy. I have a piece and it is not a big deal.

Do you wish this for yourself? It is possible!

Need support for food this holiday season?

Peace with Food: Holiday Edition is coming!!! This is a super affordable way ($29) to get peace with food this holiday season. Check it out here: https://go.feedyoursoulunlimited.com/holidaychallenge2022

Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Psychotherapist, Speaker, Author, and Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the author of the best-selling book Feed Your Soul Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food and the Amazon #1 Best Selling book Discovery Your Inspiration.

You can find Kim on her podcast Feed Your Soul with Kim and you can find it on all podcast platforms.

Wondering if you are an emotional eater? Sign up for the free Am I an Emotional Eater Quiz.

Can you have peace with food this holiday season?

Can you have peace with food this holiday season?

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Do you find you are already thinking about candy? It is front and center in the grocery stores. I have already heard stories of people buying candy in September and eating all of it.

This is your opportunity to look at this holiday season, which I lovingly call the Holiday Trifecta, differently. The holiday trifecta is the time between October 1 and January 1 where we can be tempted by food. This is 3 months of pressure, stress and overwhelm.

Here are some ways to handle food over the holiday season:

  1. Don’t keep candy in the house?
  2. Think you won’t overeat during a holiday meal and then despite your best intention you overeat to the point of feeling sick.
  3. Plan to overeat this holiday and deal with it (weight gain) January 1 when you plan to go on your diet.
  4. Plan to restrict your food intake over the holidays. Well, maybe not we all know how well that can work after the second week in October????.

The saying “failing to plan means you’re planning to fail” takes on a whole new meaning when we look at the holiday season. We think we will do it the RIGHT way (whatever that is) and not have problems with food.

The difficulty is the plan is around food not around all the areas that lead us to overeat. This is the season of the special foods, the one we do not have all year. The ones we wait all year for (hello Pumpkin Spiced Latte). We want a lot of the special food because we feel deprived of them the rest of the year.

This deprivation mimics when we are on a diet, and we say we can’t have something. We engage in diet type behavior all year when we don’t have these special foods and then at the holidays, we overeat them. One of my wins is to realize that we can have mashed potatoes anytime, it does not have to just be at Thanksgiving. Allowing the food when we want it makes it part of our normal routine.

To move through this time, it can be helpful to have a plan:

  • How will I address food?
  • How will I address my emotions?
  • How will I address my thoughts?
  • How will I address my social obligations, including family members?
  • How will I create peace?
  • How will I act in a loving way towards myself?

All the above questions lead to the overwhelm. This plan does not have to be vast, but it must be in the forefront of your mind.

There is a better way.

The starting spot can be answering the questions we addressed earlier. Make a conscious choice to make it a peaceful holiday season AND enjoy yourself.

Need support for food this holiday season?

Peace with Food: Holiday Edition is coming!!! This is a super affordable way ($29) to get peace with food this holiday season. Check it out here: https://go.feedyoursoulunlimited.com/holidaychallenge2022

Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Psychotherapist, Speaker, Author, and Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the author of the best-selling book Feed Your Soul Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food and the Amazon #1 Best Selling book Discovery Your Inspiration.

You can find Kim on her podcast Feed Your Soul with Kim and you can find it on all podcast platforms.

Wondering if you are an emotional eater? Sign up for the free Am I an Emotional Eater Quiz.

Increase your confidence: an interview with Ebony Moore, Confidence Coach

Increase your confidence: an interview with Ebony Moore, Confidence Coach

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I had the opportunity to have a conversation with Ebony Moore for the Feed Your Soul with Kim Podcast about confidence. We had met earlier when I was a guest on her podcast BossWife.live.

Ebony talks about confidence through the lens of modeling. She started modeling when she was 12 and now owns a modeling studio.

She talks about starting at Barbizon one of the big top modeling studios. They liked her and wanted to work with her, but they had two options for her: 

  1. She could shave all her my hair off (she was a teen!). Because she always wears her hair towards her face, and she was told it makes her nose look bigger. 
  2. She could get a nose job (she was a teen!). 

Can you image being a teen and told you either needed to shave your hair or get a nose job? She chose neither and started modeling locally. As she started to model locally opportunities began to open in New York, Chicago, and Atlanta. This led to greater self-esteem. 

After getting married at 18 years old she started to have kids and her confidence “took this huge blow, because she had gained weight.” She says she felt like she was “nothing” and her whole identity was wrapped up in her size. 

Ebony acknowledges, “I definitely misplaced my identity, I didn’t lose it, I just misplaced it.” She gave up hope. 

“I felt like my body was just unacceptable, because when you’re not supposed to be overweight.”  Ebony Moore

She started to focus on getting up and getting herself ready and going out. Not staying isolated. Getting up and out helped move her into more confidence. But the change came when she changed her thoughts about herself. 

“It was definitely all mental.” Ebony Moore

Ebony saw how focused we can be on how our bodies look and we lose track of who we really are. We can tend to think who we are is the size and perception of our body.  

How do you move into feeling more confident? 

Start noticing others (ebony noticed it in her kids) experiencing joy in their bodies. 

“I wanted them to know, regardless of who you are, what you like, what your nose looks like, what your hair looks like, you are freaking amazing. Like nobody else in this world looks like you. Watching my children helped me to rebuild my confidence.”

Ebony Moore

Kids can have natural confidence that adults have lost. Ebony talks about noticing the confidence in her kids and the kids in her modeling studio. She saw that she had to give that confidence to herself and then to others. 

Mirror work as a method of confidence building.

In confidence building using the concept of reflecting can be powerful. Ebony does what she calls “mirror sessions” where it’s just you in the mirror. It’s just you, looking back at you. You kind of talk to that person who you used to be.  

Using the mirror to really look at yourself and be ok with yourself. 

Here is her method: 

  • First, get in front of the mirror.
  • Second, look at yourself without make up.
  • Third, look at every mole, every hair that’s out of place, every hair on your chin. What do you like about your ear lobes? Look at your skin, notice the color. 
  • Fourth, take a deep breath and appreciate the beauty of you.  

Love yourself the way you are because that’s who that’s what people are attracted to. People are attracted to you. 

Use mirror work to increase confidence? 

  • First, remind yourself of who you used to be. 
  • Second, imagine going back to being a child. Remember that child-like love for yourself? 
  • Third, what was it about yourself that you loved the most, whether it was your eyes, whether it was your hair, your nose, your lips, whatever your skin color, the shape of your face, that’s the person you need to remember. 
  • Lastly, fast forward to now, what has changed? Recognize that you are the same person. Reconnect with that love for yourself. 

Now that you have reconnected with your true self, ask yourself, “How do I need to be there for me today?” We know you will be there for everybody else. How you need me to be there for you?

We put out the caring for others, but how are you showing up for yourself? 

When we start looking at ourselves in this way we are moving beyond confidence into “Who am I?” This way of looking at ourselves becomes spiritual, and, and mindful. 

How do you increase confidence daily?

Ebony recommends you send yourself an automatic text message daily to encourage yourself. 

Some of her confidence texts are: 

  1. Ebony, how can I be here for you today? 
  2.  Ebony, I need you to be strong for me today. 
  3. Ebony. I need for you to go the extra mile for me today.

Ebony recommends you can open the text at various times of the day to bring yourself back into that place of confidence. 

Increased confidence is a game changer in life. Try some of her tips and let us know how it works in the comments below. 

Check out my recent podcast with Ebony Moore and learn more about her confidence coaching and modeling studio at: 

www.Bosswife.live

www.purposefulthinking360.com

www.enchantedreflectionsstudio.com

https://spreaker.page.link/pW9szrANrXs3Yc2E8

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ebony-moore-1ba58984/

 

Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Counselor, Speaker, Podcaster, and Inspirational Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the author of the book Feed Your Soul Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food and the Amazon #1 Best Selling book Discovery Your Inspiration

You can find Kim on her podcast Feed Your Soul with Kim and you can find it on all podcast platforms. 

Wondering if you are an emotional eater? Sign up for the free Am I an Emotional Eater Quiz. 

Finding Happiness ~ Love

Finding Happiness ~ Love

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Could you use more happiness? Is there actually a way to be happier? In Gretchen Rubin’s book, The Happiness Project, she challenges us to look at happiness and see what we can do to boost it. Gretchen engages her readers in different concepts each month to build a stronger foundation of happiness.

This week we are looking at finding happiness for the month of February and we are focusing on love. You do not have to be in a marriage or intimate relationship to listen to this podcast, because we cover all forms of relationships: work, home, school, neighborhood and friendships.

Her happiness project is fun and helps us explore the idea of happiness and how to increase it.

Episode 39 –Finding Happiness ~ Love

Join us on the Feed Your Soul with Kim Podcast as we discuss:

  • How can happiness feed our soul?
  • Discover 5 ways to increase your happiness now.
  • Learn how love increases your happiness.

Here is a link to the Subjective Happiness Scale we discussed in the Podcast. https://sonjalyubomirsky.com/subjective-happiness-scale-shs/

End Emotional EatingKim McLaughlin M.A. is a counselor and a motivational coach working with people who engage in emotional eating or binge eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. If you are in need of services contact Kim McLaughlin here.

Kim is the author of the best-selling book Feed Your Soul; Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food. Learn more about her book here.

Kim McLaughlin has been identified as writing one of the Top 50 Blogs about Emotional Eating by the Institute on Emotional Eating. Sign up for her free Special Report: Top Strategies to End Binge Eating here or visit her website at   www.FeedYourSoulTherapy.com.

New You for a New Decade

New You for a New Decade

FacebooktwitterpinterestlinkedinmailI had the pleasure of being interviewed by my friend Michelle Warnica, on her New You for a New Decade Summit, about my story with food, dieting and mindset. This conversation is a must listen to for a greater understanding about emotional eating, intuitive eating and feeding your soul. I think you will find our conversation interesting and I love Michelle’s questions to help us look at food differently. You can find Michelle in her Facebook Group, Creating Your Blissful Life … https://www.facebook.com/groups/CreatingYourBlissfulLife I found myself sharing a lot of stories about my history with food and dieting that will, I think, resonate with you. We discuss how life is too short to eat crappy food. In addition, we have many suggestions for entering into intuitive eating.

Episode 38 –New You for a New Decade

Join us on the Feed Your Soul with Kim Podcast as we discuss:
  • 3 ways intuitive eating has changed my life (and could change yours).
  • What happens after intuitive eating?
  • 4 things to do NOW if you are struggling with your weight.
  • Learn what I do to feed my soul.
End Emotional EatingKim McLaughlin M.A. is a counselor and a motivational coach working with people who engage in emotional eating or binge eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. If you are in need of services contact Kim McLaughlin here. Kim is the author of the best-selling book Feed Your Soul; Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food. Learn more about her book here. Kim McLaughlin has been identified as writing one of the Top 50 Blogs about Emotional Eating by the Institute on Emotional Eating. Sign up for her free Special Report: Top Strategies to End Binge Eating here or visit her website at   www.FeedYourSoulTherapy.com.