Do you know that you unknowingly sabotage yourself with food? You engage in behaviors that lead you to overeat!
Emotional eating can be challenging to stop, but there are several things you can do to lessen it.
The first step is to become aware of your emotional triggers for eating. Ask yourself if you’re eating because you’re hungry or if you’re using food to cope with emotions such as loneliness, stress, boredom, anxiety, or sadness.
The second step is to learn AND use healthier coping mechanisms. Identify strategic ways to deal with emotions, such as exercise, meditation, reading, or talking to a friend or therapist.
The third step is to practice mindful eating by paying attention to the taste, texture, and smell of food, and eating slowly and without distractions. Eating mindfully helps you be connected to your body and all the physical triggers to eat.
You can unknowingly sabotage yourself with food, by not recognizing and stopping the root of the problem:
Eating to deal with emotions can lead to dissatisfaction with your body and yourself. When you eat emotionally, you are not dealing with the emotional problem, you are making the problem worse.
Restrictive dieting and depriving yourself of certain foods can lead to intense cravings and binge eating. Limiting ourselves makes the rebel side come out and what to eat what it wants.
Skipping meals and limiting food can lead to overeating later in the day, especially if you’re hungry and tired.
Judging yourself and your behavior creates a negative mindset. This negative mindset starts a cascade of negative reactions that include overeating.
What can you do to create more food freedom?
First, practice Intuitive Eating. Learn to listen to your body’s hunger and fullness cues. Give yourself permission to eat all types of foods starting when you are hungry and ending when you are satiated or full.
Second, surround yourself with people who support your goals and create a positive and supportive environment at home and work. Hang out with people who are listening to their bodies and do not engage in diet talk.
Third, practice Self-Care. Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental health by getting enough sleep, eating good food, managing stress, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.
Fourth, seek help if you are struggling. Join a program where the focus is on Intuitive eating. If you’re struggling with emotional eating, consider seeking help from a therapist or registered dietitian who specializes in this area.
Having an Anti-Diet Revolution is a pretty bold statement and desire. I have been on a mission to help people make peace with food and their bodies for years. I use intuitive eating as the framework to guide my clients to success.
There is this societal norm that we are supposed to want to be “healthy” and thin and the only way to get there is to go on a diet. We have agreed that the only way to get to thinness and “health” is through dieting.
Why have we all bought into the idea that “health” and thinness is our goal? We have been sold to by the LARGE corporations that make a lot of money (hello 60+Billion-dollar industry) off us failing.
I have many examples of going on the same diet over and over expecting a different result. I look back and wonder why in the world I did that. I am not stupid. I now see that I bought into the idea of what my body should look like, and I needed eat differently to make it right.
I bought into the idea that something was wrong with me, because of my size. The problem is the way I tried to fix my weight was by dieting.
Dieting does not accomplish what they say it will. It does not equal health.
There is an inherent harm in dieting, because it is focused on the external: what you eat and how much you weigh. Diets do not address why you overeat, why you binge, why you are obsess with food and can’t stop eating. Dieting leads to deprivation which leads you back to binging and the cycle starts up again.
If dieting is not the answer to overeating, what is?
Intuitive Eating is the way to move out of dieting and into a place of peace with food.
Imaging being able to notice when you are hungry and make decisions about what you shall eat easily. Your decision is not based on some system where you must track how much you eat. Eating the food and enjoying it. Noticing when you are satisfied and stop eating. Feeling energized with the food you eat. Getting a rhythm with food where you have a sense of what foods you like, what you do not like. Feeling empowered to eat what you want and not overanalyze it. Being able to determine what are your right foods that fit well with your body. There is no obsession with food. You can enjoy what you eat and if you eat beyond fullness you are able to course correct.
What does it take to be an intuitive eater?
Notice when you are hungry.
Notice what are the foods that satisfy you and give you the energy you need.
Eat when you are hungry and before you are overly hungry.
Stop when you are satisfied or gently full.
Allow yourself to eat the foods you really want.
Notice feelings that are causing you concern and take care of them.
Engage in self-care and self-love.
Notice thoughts that are negative and have ways to deal with them.
Have a mindfulness practice that is soothing.
Engage in movement that is right for you.
It takes time and energy to embrace intuitive eating and it will be the best thing you can do for yourself.
To move towards Intuitive eating, we are going to have the Anti-Diet Revolution. What is the Anti-Diet Revolution? We look at diet, diet culture and how YOU have been led astray.
We cannot end at ending dieting. What will you do instead?
Have a way to measure hunger and fullness. This is a simple and profound practice that takes guess work out of eating.
Determine what leads you to overeat.
Have action plan for your self-care that REALLY work.
Be in a place where others understand what you are experiencing, and you feel in community.
Join us for the Anti-Diet Revolution starting soon. Sign up now to get access to this free series to help you move out of dieting and into a plan of action that works.
Whether you are satisfied or not is very personal and individual: each person is different and has different requirements. We have often learned to deny our satisfaction, especially when we have been following the diet culture. In order to look at satisfaction better, let’s examine the definition of satisfaction.
The dictionary defines satisfaction as the “fulfillment of one’s wishes, expectations, or needs, or the pleasure derived from this.”
Can you imagine looking at food as a fulfillment of your wishes, expectations or needs?
Could you see yourself being ok with getting pleasure from food? Often the answer to these questions is NO. Why? We are not allowing ourselves to get pleasure from food.
Intuitive eating asks us to look at the ‘satisfaction factor.” Meaning we chose food because it is satisfying to us! How radical is that?
Have you ever considered how to be more satisfied with food? Let’s examine this further.
Increasing satisfaction with food is a multipronged approach.
Consider some of the qualities you can use to determine food satisfaction:
Texture: Is the food hard, smooth, crunchy?
Smell: Is the food pleasant smelling?
Sound: What is the sound when you bite into the food item?
Temperature: Is the food hot, spicy, cold, frozen, or room temperature?
Flavor: Is the food yummy, bland, awful, ok?
Appearance: What does the food look like? Does it look appealing?
Do you get full with this food?
What are your surroundings? Appealing, attractive or bland?
We tend to discard the satisfaction factor, because we have been trained that if the food is appealing, yummy, filling: then it must be “bad” food. Meaning the food is high in calories, fat, etc. In order for food to be “good” food it should be diet food, which is low calories, low fat or fitting into whatever diet you are on.
When you eat diet food, wonder how satisfying is it really? The diet-binge-shame cycle will lead you to ultimately overeat, if you continue to eat foods that are not satisfying.
To increase your satisfaction further consider the following questions:
Do you taste your food?
Eat too fast?
Eat when you are too hungry?
Eat past enjoyment?
Do you enjoy your food?
How can you increase your Food Satisfaction and Intuitive Eating?
What do I really want to eat? This is great starting question. You can, also, look at the food qualities listed above, like:
How will this food sound?
Does the food look appealing?
How will this food feel in my mouth? Do I want it to be hot or cold?
How will my body feel when I am done eating this?
How will I feel emotionally when I am done?
Start eating from gentle hunger.
Be sure to enjoy your food.
After you eat, reflect on the food/satiety.
Did the food meet my needs?
Am I satisfied?
Did I end up not eating what I really wanted?
Satisfaction with food is one way out of overeating and into intuitive eating. When you are satisfied with the food you feel better physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Being present with feeling of food satisfaction is a great gift you can give yourself.
Take some time today, focus on satisfaction with your food. See how it helps you get in touch with your body, so then you are not overeating.
If you are struggling with food and overeating, check out my program Emotional Eating Solutions. You do not have to struggle anymore.
When my daughter was in preschool, she came home with a paper listing 100 items for a “Summer Bucket List.” The paper proclaimed it had 100 fun things to do before summer kicks the bucket.
This list had many items on it that were associated with summer:
Swim until dark.
Walk on the beach.
Have breakfast for dinner.
I had heard of a bucket list as being kind of morbid related to what you want to do before you die. It had never occurred to me that it could be expanded to a list you want to do over the summer.
I looked at that list for a while and decide to make my own Summer Bucket List for me and my family. Now each summer we discuss what activities we want to do. I have learned that the only way to get these kinds of activities on the calendar is to write them down AND put them in the calendar. What is not on the calendar does not seem to get done.
I like the idea and opportunity this gives us to be creative and ask for what we want over the summer. This list is fluid and can expand or contract as needed.
This Summer Bucket List is so fun and gets me and my family really thinking about what we each want over the summer.
I love the Summer Bucket List, because it does not require you to spend any money, unless you want to.
What do you REALLY want to do this summer?
Each summer I ask clients what they have planned for the summer. Often, they say they do not have much planned. Planning to do something fun IS self-care. The summer is the best time to focus on you and what you want.
I find it is a time of connection with my family, too, to hear what they want to do over the summer. Sometimes the plans are as a family and sometimes the plans are alone or with others.
This summer is a great opportunity to put yourself first and make that list. Have you thought about what fun activities you can do over this summer?
This summer put yourself first on the list.
Here are some strategies to start your Summer Bucket List. I suggest you spend 15-30 minutes contemplating the below questions.
What do you like to do AND have not done in a while?
What did you like to do as a child during the summer?
What have never done, but really want to do.
What have you been afraid to do but really want to do?
What would give you pleasure?
Use the Summer Bucket List to keep track of what you plan to do.
First write down what you plan to do over the summer.
Set up dates in your calendar to do them.
Cross them off when you accomplished them.
Remember to keep extra spaces on your list to add through the summer.
Enjoying the summer season is just good for you.
Join me this summer and create your Summer Bucket List (download here). Join me in the Feed Your Soul Community Facebook Group where we will support each other to make AND use our Summer Bucket List. Being in community can be the best way to get inspiration and accountability to get your self-care moving forward.
I had the opportunity to have a conversation with Ebony Moore for the Feed Your Soul with Kim Podcast about confidence. We had met earlier when I was a guest on her podcast BossWife.live.
Ebony talks about confidence through the lens of modeling. She started modeling when she was 12 and now owns a modeling studio.
She talks about starting at Barbizon one of the big top modeling studios. They liked her and wanted to work with her, but they had two options for her:
She could shave all her my hair off (she was a teen!). Because she always wears her hair towards her face, and she was told it makes her nose look bigger.
She could get a nose job (she was a teen!).
Can you image being a teen and told you either needed to shave your hair or get a nose job? She chose neither and started modeling locally. As she started to model locally opportunities began to open in New York, Chicago, and Atlanta. This led to greater self-esteem.
After getting married at 18 years old she started to have kids and her confidence “took this huge blow, because she had gained weight.” She says she felt like she was “nothing” and her whole identity was wrapped up in her size.
Ebony acknowledges, “I definitely misplaced my identity, I didn’t lose it, I just misplaced it.” She gave up hope.
“I felt like my body was just unacceptable, because when you’re not supposed to be overweight.” Ebony Moore
She started to focus on getting up and getting herself ready and going out. Not staying isolated. Getting up and out helped move her into more confidence. But the change came when she changed her thoughts about herself.
“It was definitely all mental.” Ebony Moore
Ebony saw how focused we can be on how our bodies look and we lose track of who we really are. We can tend to think who we are is the size and perception of our body.
How do you move into feeling more confident?
Start noticing others (ebony noticed it in her kids) experiencing joy in their bodies.
“I wanted them to know, regardless of who you are, what you like, what your nose looks like, what your hair looks like, you are freaking amazing. Like nobody else in this world looks like you. Watching my children helped me to rebuild my confidence.”
Ebony Moore
Kids can have natural confidence that adults have lost. Ebony talks about noticing the confidence in her kids and the kids in her modeling studio. She saw that she had to give that confidence to herself and then to others.
Mirror work as a method of confidence building.
In confidence building using the concept of reflecting can be powerful. Ebony does what she calls “mirror sessions” where it’s just you in the mirror. It’s just you, looking back at you. You kind of talk to that person who you used to be.
Using the mirror to really look at yourself and be ok with yourself.
Here is her method:
First, get in front of the mirror.
Second, look at yourself without make up.
Third, look at every mole, every hair that’s out of place, every hair on your chin. What do you like about your ear lobes? Look at your skin, notice the color.
Fourth, take a deep breath and appreciate the beauty of you.
Love yourself the way you are because that’s who that’s what people are attracted to. People are attracted to you.
Use mirror work to increase confidence?
First, remind yourself of who you used to be.
Second, imagine going back to being a child. Remember that child-like love for yourself?
Third, what was it about yourself that you loved the most, whether it was your eyes, whether it was your hair, your nose, your lips, whatever your skin color, the shape of your face, that’s the person you need to remember.
Lastly, fast forward to now, what has changed? Recognize that you are the same person. Reconnect with that love for yourself.
Now that you have reconnected with your true self, ask yourself, “How do I need to be there for me today?” We know you will be there for everybody else. How you need me to be there for you?
We put out the caring for others, but how are you showing up for yourself?
When we start looking at ourselves in this way we are moving beyond confidence into “Who am I?” This way of looking at ourselves becomes spiritual, and, and mindful.
How do you increase confidence daily?
Ebony recommends you send yourself an automatic text message daily to encourage yourself.
Some of her confidence texts are:
Ebony, how can I be here for you today?
Ebony, I need you to be strong for me today.
Ebony. I need for you to go the extra mile for me today.
Ebony recommends you can open the text at various times of the day to bring yourself back into that place of confidence.
Increased confidence is a game changer in life. Try some of her tips and let us know how it works in the comments below.
