You have probably heard that play is important. Truthfully playfulness IS self-care.
Engaging in play and fun activities are necessary for your overall mental and physical wellbeing. Not only will it help to reduce stress levels, but it can also improve the quality of life.
First, you need to determine what is playful AND self-care.
Determining what constitutes fun and self-care is a personal exploration, but here are three ideas to help guide you:
1.Experiment: Try different activities and observe how they make you feel. Do you feel rejuvenated after a yoga session or does painting bring out your inner joy?
What do others do that you have wondered about? Maybe there is some deep desire to try it out. Go ahead and experiment with this new form of play.
Remember, what works for others might not work for you, but then again, it might!
2.Self-reflection: Spend time thinking about what truly makes you happy. Self-care isn’t always about relaxation; sometimes, it can be about pursuing a passion or hobby that you love.
I encourage people to think back on what they used to like to do when they were younger. I LOVED being at the beach and swimming when I was younger. This is still my go-to fun/self-care activity.
3.Balance: Try to strike a balance between activities that are calming and those that are energizing. For instance, reading a book might relax you, while a dance class might invigorate you. The key to effective self-care is maintaining this balance.
Make your list a variety of calming and energizing experiences. This can match your self-care needs at different times.
Remember, there’s no ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach to fun and self-care. It’s a personal journey that depends entirely on what makes you feel fulfilled, relaxed, and recharged at that time. Go ahead, explore, and discover what makes you feel enlivened!
Second, how do you make time for playful activities when life is so busy?
The answer is simple: start small and be consistent. Here are some tips to help you get started:
1.Make a list of what you like to do for fun. It might feel hard to determine what you like to do for fun, because it has been hard to even determine what you would like to do.
When our lives are out of balance with a long to-do list, thinking about play and self-care are low on the list (if they are even on the list).
I have a list of 100 items that are on my bucket list to do or try. I add to the list when there is something fun that comes to my attention.
2.Make a schedule and stick to it – set aside time each week for fun activities. It doesn’t matter how much time it is, even if it’s only 15 minutes. The important thing is that you make time for yourself.
I promise you have at least 15 minutes to engage in some fun activities.
3.Create mini-challenges throughout the day – challenge yourself to do something fun for a few minutes each day. This could be playing a game, listening to music, watching a movie, doing some yoga, or anything else that you enjoy!
When you begin to just add in play, it can become more natural to be in the mindset of increasing play.
4.Find support – reach out to friends and family members who are also trying to make time for play and self-care activities. You can join online communities or find a local group dedicated to play and fun activities (there are many meetups that focus on play).
This way, you can make sure that you have someone who is holding you accountable.
Lastly, why is it so critical to engage in more play for self-care?
Engaging in play and fun activities isn’t just an escape from your busy schedule, it also stimulates your mind in unique and innovative ways. Whether you’re painting, playing a board game, or gardening, these activities can spur creativity, and make a positive impact on your brain and enhance problem-solving skills.
This creative rejuvenation can prove beneficial in many areas of your life, including work and personal relationships. Not only do these activities provide immediate enjoyment, but they also contribute to your overall brain functioning and emotional support.
Take the time for yourself today and make sure that you’re taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. It’s important for our overall health that we make time for play and fun activities!
Remember: it’s okay to put yourself first — no matter how busy life gets. You deserve a break and the chance to play and have some fun. Take that step today and give yourself permission to enjoy life!
It will make all the difference in your overall wellbeing.
I have many memories of struggling with food over the holidays.
When I was single, I feared having food (specifically candy) in the house. At Halloween time I would buy a bag of candy my thought was to use it on Halloween, but that never happened. I always ate it. It wasn’t that I just ate it. I ate it all and felt so ashamed. I was convinced that I could not stop.
I came up with a plan…
I would go to the gym on Halloween night. I don’t know if you have been to the gym on Halloween night- there are not many people there. I thought it was the only way that I could stop myself from overeating on candy. If I was not home to give out candy, they I would not have to buy the candy. It was my way of not binging on candy. It worked if I did not buy the candy.
When I returned home from the gym, I would sneak into the house, go upstairs, and watch television with the lights out so no one would knock on my door. I did not feel brave enough to tell them I had no candy, I wanted to avoid the whole scene.
I then married a man who loved to give out candy on Halloween. He bought the candy and did not open the bag before Halloween. On Halloween he ate few pieces and took the rest to the office to share with his co-workers.
I have learned that it is ok to have candy in the house and I do not have to be afraid of it. It does not call my name like it used to. I used to feel compelled to eat the candy or any sweets if it was in the house. My head would say, you know you are going to eat it, just do it. I was convinced that I had no control over candy.
I learned about Intuitive Eating.
It took me time and effort to feel freedom with candy. It is doable. We now have candy in the house, and it does not call to me. I do not think about it, and I have it when I want it. It is not a struggle anymore.
I have been creating my newest program Peace with Food Over the Holidays and have been looking at what does help to release the grip food and sweets can have on us. Interestingly, it is not all focused on how to manage food. Food is one of the many components that lead to peace with food.
In order to have Peace with Food Over the Holidays we need to look at:
Physical: How to look at food/candy differently. There are simple tweaks that can make you feel so much more successful.
Emotional- How to deal with emotions that surely come up over the holiday season.
Mental: Those thoughts about food can be overwhelming. Finding some tools to manage them is critical.
Lifestyle/Social: Learning how to say no and set boundaries is crucial.
Mindfulness: How can you get quiet with yourself when there are so many competing priorities AND you are not one of them?
Self-Love: What do you really need? If you were going to be loving to yourself, what would you do?
Notice that only one component is focused on the physical, which includes food! The reason why it feels so hard to put food in its place as nourishment is because we focus on food and generally it is on restricting food.
Food restriction does not work.
What works is bringing balance and synergy to all of the components. I will not lie to you; it does take effort to learn and practice this new way. It is worth it, and it does work.
As an end note…
I now happily give out candy to our neighbor kids. I do not feel afraid when my daughter brings home her Halloween candy. I have a piece and it is not a big deal.
Do you find you are already thinking about candy? It is front and center in the grocery stores. I have already heard stories of people buying candy in September and eating all of it.
This is your opportunity to look at this holiday season, which I lovingly call the Holiday Trifecta, differently. The holiday trifecta is the time between October 1 and January 1 where we can be tempted by food. This is 3 months of pressure, stress and overwhelm.
Here are some ways to handle food over the holiday season:
Don’t keep candy in the house?
Think you won’t overeat during a holiday meal and then despite your best intention you overeat to the point of feeling sick.
Plan to overeat this holiday and deal with it (weight gain) January 1 when you plan to go on your diet.
Plan to restrict your food intake over the holidays. Well, maybe not we all know how well that can work after the second week in October????.
The saying “failing to plan means you’re planning to fail” takes on a whole new meaning when we look at the holiday season. We think we will do it the RIGHT way (whatever that is) and not have problems with food.
The difficulty is the plan is around food not around all the areas that lead us to overeat. This is the season of the special foods, the one we do not have all year. The ones we wait all year for (hello Pumpkin Spiced Latte). We want a lot of the special food because we feel deprived of them the rest of the year.
This deprivation mimics when we are on a diet, and we say we can’t have something. We engage in diet type behavior all year when we don’t have these special foods and then at the holidays, we overeat them. One of my wins is to realize that we can have mashed potatoes anytime, it does not have to just be at Thanksgiving. Allowing the food when we want it makes it part of our normal routine.
To move through this time, it can be helpful to have a plan:
How will I address food?
How will I address my emotions?
How will I address my thoughts?
How will I address my social obligations, including family members?
How will I create peace?
How will I act in a loving way towards myself?
All the above questions lead to the overwhelm. This plan does not have to be vast, but it must be in the forefront of your mind.
There is a better way.
The starting spot can be answering the questions we addressed earlier. Make a conscious choice to make it a peaceful holiday season AND enjoy yourself.
I often hear people say that all they want to do is lose weight and how different their life would be when they do lose that weight. I find people are then focused on the future and what will be rather than what is. They will call themselves names or let others column names and underneath the shame builds. The shame is what ultimately leads to further binge eating in the future. When you say “I need to lose weight” you’re saying that you’re not OK with yourself as you are. Shame is a core root emotion in overeating.
Focusing on our weight is focusing on the external (your body). Instead focusing on the internal is the way to get more connected with yourself to understand your body and your food. Focusing on your weight is putting judgments on yourself that you do not like who you are.
Truthfully, your weight is not who you are.
I have often heard people say, I am just telling the truth about myself. Accepting yourself as you are different than the subtle and not so subtle put downs of yourself. All of those negative statements and thoughts hold you back from a life of peace with food.
It can be hard to think about loving yourself. It also can be something you have never considered. Here are 4 techniques to help you love yourself and your body NOW…
Keep clothing that fits.
I challenge you to look for the clothes that you are saving for when you lose weight. This can bring up a lot of feelings, so good easy on yourself. These old clothes can keep you stuck in that diet/binge/shame cycle. Here are some questions to ask yourself about your clothes:
Do you own items that fit?
Do they look good on you?
Do you like them?
Act lovingly towards your body now.
I know it can be hard to love the body that you have when our society is so focused on looking differently than we look. The process of acting lovingly towards your body is healing to your heart and mind. It can go a long way to bring more balance into your life.
Take a bath
Walk down the street.
Use some scented lotion.
Affirm a healthy body.
See and affirm your body’s’ health. There are a lot of techniques out there to help guide you with affirmations and visualization. Loving where you are at helps you continue that health in the future. The whole concept of a health body has been hijacked by the weight loss industry ($58 billion industry). The statement “I am looking for health”, can be code for I need to lose weight.
Disconnect “health” from your body size. What is a health body to you, without mentioning size? What does that body feel like and how do it work for you.
Mindfulness is the best way to get become more loving of your body.
Being present in your body can be so tough when we have been taught and encouraged to deny our bodies. Being present in your body is the ultimate way to feed your soul and to feed your body. Practice mindfulness moment to moment with your breath.
In conclusion, being loving to your body sets you up for success.
This success shows up in feeling good about yourself and your body. Making the connection between your body and self-love is a crucial component to feeding your soul and nourishing your life.
Practice one (or many) of the options above and focus on the value of loving yourself as you are right now. The value of this experience is profound!
When my daughter was in preschool, she came home with a paper listing 100 items for a “Summer Bucket List.” The paper proclaimed it had 100 fun things to do before summer kicks the bucket.
This list had many items on it that were associated with summer:
Swim until dark.
Walk on the beach.
Have breakfast for dinner.
I had heard of a bucket list as being kind of morbid related to what you want to do before you die. It had never occurred to me that it could be expanded to a list you want to do over the summer.
I looked at that list for a while and decide to make my own Summer Bucket List for me and my family. Now each summer we discuss what activities we want to do. I have learned that the only way to get these kinds of activities on the calendar is to write them down AND put them in the calendar. What is not on the calendar does not seem to get done.
I like the idea and opportunity this gives us to be creative and ask for what we want over the summer. This list is fluid and can expand or contract as needed.
This Summer Bucket List is so fun and gets me and my family really thinking about what we each want over the summer.
I love the Summer Bucket List, because it does not require you to spend any money, unless you want to.
What do you REALLY want to do this summer?
Each summer I ask clients what they have planned for the summer. Often, they say they do not have much planned. Planning to do something fun IS self-care. The summer is the best time to focus on you and what you want.
I find it is a time of connection with my family, too, to hear what they want to do over the summer. Sometimes the plans are as a family and sometimes the plans are alone or with others.
This summer is a great opportunity to put yourself first and make that list. Have you thought about what fun activities you can do over this summer?
This summer put yourself first on the list.
Here are some strategies to start your Summer Bucket List. I suggest you spend 15-30 minutes contemplating the below questions.
What do you like to do AND have not done in a while?
What did you like to do as a child during the summer?
What have never done, but really want to do.
What have you been afraid to do but really want to do?
What would give you pleasure?
Use the Summer Bucket List to keep track of what you plan to do.
First write down what you plan to do over the summer.
Set up dates in your calendar to do them.
Cross them off when you accomplished them.
Remember to keep extra spaces on your list to add through the summer.
Enjoying the summer season is just good for you.
Join me this summer and create your Summer Bucket List (download here). Join me in the Feed Your Soul Community Facebook Group where we will support each other to make AND use our Summer Bucket List. Being in community can be the best way to get inspiration and accountability to get your self-care moving forward.
