True confession: I am an extrovert. I get my energy from being with others. I know many others who are not like me and are introverts and need time alone. Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, there is a need for community. 

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary has a few definitions of community: 

• People with common interests.
• Group of people with a common characteristic.
• People with a common history.
• People in a common location.
• Social Activities where we have fellowship. 

Basically, people with something in common and who want to join together for a common reason.

Community and the Pandemic

The idea of community has expanded especially over the time of the pandemic. 

We were told to stay home, but what about community? 

How do we gather? 

It became tough to go out and even tougher to find places to go out to. 

As an extrovert, I found the isolation not as bad as I had thought. It gave me time to be quiet and introspective. My introverted friends were in heaven with the time alone. 

My gym started with posted workouts we could do at home alone. I was not too drawn to that. I go to the gym for the companionship/community and mostly motivation. To say I was excited when my gym decided to get us a physical workout in a safe way is an understatement. 

We had workouts in the rainy weather, in the cold mornings. 

We had meet ups in the park to do park workouts. 

We distanced at the gym and lots of other creative ways to workout in community. I found I needed my community. I cried when there were rumblings in our area that we would be on lock down again. I did not know how I could handle not being able to go to a workout. 

Everyone has stories showing the strong pull we have towards being in community. 

To be in community, we try to find: 

1. People with a commonality to us.  
2. People who will like us. 

Why do people join in community?

1. To share new ideas, insights, suggestions, and lessons they’ve learned. 
2. Brainstorm new ideas based on different information. 
3. Ask and answer questions. 
4. Collaborate, interact, and have conversations.  
5. Learn from new people to the group/community. 
6. Learn from people’s successes and failures.
7. Get an idea or an answer. 
8. Feel supported. To tell our story to others who can appreciate what we have been through. Talk to people who can empathize with what we have been through. 

Virtual vs In Person Community

Before the pandemic there were wonderings if we can be in real relationships when we are virtual. I think the pandemic showed we can be in community virtually and it can be satisfying. 

1. Virtually you can target your areas of interest to find others like you.
2. The other value to virtual you can find others at times that fit with your lifestyle. 
3. In person there is the win of the physical connection. 

Overall, there are so many wins from being in community (virtual or in person).

1. You get to determine your level of commitment and the more you are committed the more you can get back. 
2. You meet new friends. 
3. You learn new skills and get new ideas. 
4. You get the support of the group.
5. You join with like-minded people who are interested in the same things. 
6. You get to speak up and be heard without judgment. 
7. You contribute to the betterment of all. 
8. Increase self-esteem- we are meant to be in community, in collaboration with others. 
9. Can help you with difficult situations.  

When it comes to intuitive eating, we need a community.

In regular community there is a focus on weight loss, diet talk and fat shaming. With intuitive eating, we are looking for community focused on food peace and weight peace.  

I invite you to look at a community that supports eating intuitively, no focus on weight loss, no focus on the numbers on the scale and no focus on fat shaming. It is critical to be in a community that looks at you as a person not what you ate earlier. You need a place where like-minded people support you for you. 

How are you going to join in community?

I invite you to a few ways to get that support:

1. Like the Feed Your Soul Community Facebook Group page. It is a free group of like-minded people who are focused on freedom with food. 
2. Sign up for Emotional Eating Solutions where we have added a community component. You get to talk with others who are looking at food differently and feel that sense of community that we crave.
3. Listen to my Feed Your Soul with Kim podcast for community inspiration.

Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Counselor, Speaker, Podcaster, and Inspirational Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the author of the book Feed Your Soul Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food and the Amazon #1 Best Selling book Discovery Your Inspiration. 

You can find Kim on her podcast Feed Your Soul with Kim and you can find it on all podcast platforms. 

Wondering if you are an emotional eater? Sign up for the free Am I an Emotional Eater Quiz. 

Strangely, the answer to the question how I stop emotionally eating is to be mindful. Being mindful is easier said than done.  

Mindful.org says, “Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are, and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive, or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us. 

Let’s take that definition and see what is going on with you right now: 

1. Are you fully present? Take a moment to get present. 
2. Are you aware of where you are?
3. What are you doing? Take a moment to be aware. 
4. Are you reacting to anything right now? 
5. Are you feeling overwhelmed? 

The concept of mindfulness is paying attention to what is actually happening in and around you right now. 

It’s about being fully present in your body and what’s going on within you what you’re doing, but also what’s going on around you. Sometimes going on around us can be the difficult part because what’s coming at us, we might have a reaction to it, for reaction to it. And when we’re mindful, we can then come back into our body, assess what’s going on in us and around us, and then determine what to do, can you get how that fits with food, can you get how that fits with food, that I am fully present to what

How does mindfulness help with overeating? 

Imaging the difference being totally present when you are eating and not responding to external or internal stimuli. Mindfulness and overeating can be tricky. It takes practicing it when we are eating and when we are not. Being mindful means, we are not soothing ourselves unconsciously with food. When we are not mindful it can feel like we are disconnected from our body and not present to the internal nor external cues. Having the tools to reconnect with yourself helps you when you come to the table (literally and figuratively). 

Mindfulness takes practice

I have been sharing lately that I’ve noticed that I am calmer and more present and mindful than I have ever been. I started a mindful practice. The beginning of January 2022, I decided I was a little too scattered a little too outside of myself, and I needed something more formal and doing it every day. I started a mindfulness practice: daily readings, affirmations, some journaling. I don’t do all of them every day, but I do at least one of them every day. I am 100% confident that my stress has been reduced substantially what I know when my stress is reduced. I’m less likely to overeat because my stress is down. I am not reactionary to other people. I feel calmer inside of my body. 

Mindfulness helps with Intuitive Eating

Intuitive Eating means we’re coming from what our body needs, coming from our insides and noticing what’s going on. This is the scary part that people talk to me about a lot is: 

1. How can I access in my body when I don’t trust my body? 
2. Why would I listen to what my body’s saying, if my body always says to just eat, or I know it’s going to tell me to eat? 
3. If you tell me, I can just eat food? Well, what food can I eat, because I need to know what the prescription is what the diet is, then I’ll know what to eat, then I’ll know what the plan is. 

It can feel be scary to go inside of your body. 

Mindfulness can give you the resource to feel empowered within your body. This mindfulness help when you are eating AND when you are just living your life. Being mindful, is the way to move out of a lot of emotions that can be detrimental to your relationship to yourself. Mindfulness can get you out of being reactionary. 

How do we move into mindfulness? 

You can start doing it now. One of my favorites ways is feeling yourself sitting in your seat right now. If you are sitting, feel your bottom on the chair. Feel your feet, where are your feet? Notice your hands, what are they doing? Notice your shoulders, where your shoulders at? Feel your jaw, how does it feel. The next thing I like to do is focus on deep breathing. Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth. I just like to breathe in and breathe out. As I do that, I feel my shoulders drop, I feel my jaw drop, I feel myself more firmly in my seat. So being present in your body is as simple as noticing your body. You could do that all the time! When you’re sitting to eat, feel yourself in your seat, take a deep breath. When you’re going into work, feel your feel your feet on the ground, take a deep breath. That’s how you get to be mindful. And the more mindful we are more peaceful. 

How can you mindfully eat? 

The other part about mindful eating is really being mindful of what you’re eating, having a plate of food, sitting down, eating one bite at a time, putting your fork down, chewing your food, swallowing your food, wipe your mouth with your napkin. This makes eating a slower process. But it’s a more mindful process. 

I encourage you to be present in your body as often as possible. Being mindful is really simple, not always easy, but it has a profound effect.  

Be sure to check out the video that goes with this blog here.

 Kim McLaughlin, MA is a Counselor, Speaker, Podcaster, and Inspirational Coach who specializes in working with people who suffer from binge eating and emotional eating. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the author of the book Feed Your Soul Nourish Your Life! A Six Step System to Peace with Food and the Amazon #1 Best Selling book Discovery Your Inspiration.

You can find Kim on her podcast Feed Your Soul with Kim and you can find it on all podcast platforms. 

Wondering if you are an emotional eater? Sign up for the free Am I an Emotional Eater Quiz.